finali scheduled to work morning on sat shift
realised it seems to be the firx time i come home after work by moiself, since i started work
feels like the past when i was still a schoolgal
been pretty long since i last wear uniform to school, like 4yrs ago?
went to packet moi fav laksa
din taste as good as last time
abit disappointed
but there's a new chicken rice stall!
yippee!! dun ask mi why, im jux tat excited can

seems ages since im home
had a great nite ytd
gerger was squeezing in btw mi n dear
felt so much like a happy family
blissed~
simply love those simple moments
if onli, when daddy mummy noes abt it n approve
there would be nothing else i can complain

@ work~
it reali makes moi heart boils for the way im treated
even though im new, tats' not the way to treat new staff
cux the ultimate goal is to close sales
sumtimes i jux cudnt understand wad theresa's mind is thinking
theresa = moi cousin's assistant (she dunno moi r/s wid her boss)
she's in-charge of taiwan group tours

alright, so there was a customer at the counter wanted to noe the rate for a particular hotel in TPE. as i cudnt find the rates from the free & easy department, i tried asking the F/E in-charge since others are busy. she not onli was unfriendly, she shoot mi back as if i offended her. nvm. so, i went to look for theresa (the main lead of the day). she, again din wan to entertain mi at all and referred mi back to moi immediate supervisor, karen. i got hold of karen, but she had to ask theresa too. damn that idiotic bitch. cant u jux tell mi the rates? y mux u onli tell karen so that she can pass on the msg to mi? #%^Y^%$#

i reali couldnt stand the way she's treating mi. so wad u been working in the company more than i do? so wad u noe more than i do? i wan to complain!! but who can i complain to? cant possibly sit down in the office n complain to moi cousin, can i? though she's moi cousin, there r some things that i have to depend on moiself. but, she's theresa's boss, isnt she? THERESA, U BETTER WATCH OUT! whether or not i can stay on, doesnt reali matters to mi. i can owaes find another job outside wid a higher salary. i jux cant stand how she bullies the newbies. !#$%^U&^%$#$

as the tot of resigning came across moi mind again, mr yap lao bei bei appear. he's moi customer. a very understanding n nice person. he makes mi wan to stay till at least after he come back from the tour he had signed up for. n that would be next month. so for the time being, i muz ENDURE!!!

tally up moi sales today. till today, i alrdy hit 30 leh.. heh heh, 4more to hit moi sales quota for the month!! yesh!! jia you jia you!!
accompanied dear to work today.. haha.. he so fortunate sia.. even the condo security oso sae, work oso got gf accompany.. aiseh, mai siao siao leh.. LOL~
went training at nite.. wlcs gals team lion dance training hor.. dun underestimate mi k.. though i owaes play play lidat, when im in the mood to learn, i can do it de hor! today can consider is moi firx training lor, but buey pia leh.. at least i can catch the ball.. lalala~ lao wang mai gua zhi mai zhi kua.. heeheehaha!!
but~~ daddy mummy ard canot too close wid dear dear.. =(
dun bother so much bah.. moi "visa" to bangladesh will be approved one day de!! gambateh!!

wonder whether been too long since i last log in, gotta try so many different user names n password before i got it right. *shake head*
been rather busy recently. oh well, i onli reach home not earlier than 10.30pm everyday. n 10.30pm is the earliest. in fact, not moi usual timing. had an agreement wid dear to be good gal. so shall be home as early as i can for the next few days, jux in case i get mad wid those naggings n decided to pack moi bag n leave.
work been pretty smooth lately. managed to open bookings almost everyday. hoping to open at least 3per day, that would do just fine to hit moi sales quota. got 2lectures for the previous week that make mi almost cried but i was strong. or, thick-skinned? wadever, i headed strong to work as i start a new month, a new week, a new day. i din have had any orientation since i joined, so pls understand moi mistakes. im willing to learn if u r willing to teach.
collected pay cheque today. got onli like half of wad i should actuali get. 500++ onli, after cpf. haas. how to return debt wid onli 500++?? nvm bah, first month. anyway, i din worked for the whole of march, onli started on the 2nd week. be patient. in other words, gotta be more thrifty for this month onwards. lotsa things in mind to buy. haa.
alright, gtg. no idea wad im typing anyway. update again.
adios~

things aint as smooth as it seems to be.

been quarrelling for the past few days for every single thing, be it misunderstanding or wadsoever, its owaes solve at the end of the day before we kiss goodbye. not today. im stil thinking whether to stay or leave moi current job. i dunno y, but i jux dun feel right at most times. loneliness, maybe. everybody has their khakis. im new. so not for mi. but becux im new, a senior mux be with mi at all times. as a result, moi "shifu" has to separate from her khakis to watch over mi. i felt bad. in fact, sometimes i felt so unwanted. extra, to be exact. colleagues are good to mi, willing to help mi whenever needed. they are friendly. but i jux cant help feeling tat way. dear dear keep telling mi not to force moiself, if i dun like it, jux quit n find another one. that's all he've been telling mi. i dun nid him to sae anything. jux need him to stay with mi. give mi a hug, comfort mi. let mi noe everything's gonna be alright.

unfortunately, he's upset that i confide to ck, a friend i nv see before -- a virtual friend. he's upset that i rather tell ck than tell him everything. sigh. he dun understand. he dun understand that i dun wan him to be frustrated over moi stuff. now, he saes i dun haf to tell him anything. wad else can i sae?

raining outside. wad a sudden rain. jux like moi heart. shattered rain.

supposed to be sleeping alrdy, gotta wake up early tmr. haix.

firx day work wasnt good at all. not a bit. was told to report work at 8.50am, i was early. had brief orientation abt the key players in the company. REALLY BRIEF. dun ask mi who is who, i dun remember at all. anyway, after tat, HR went on to intro mi n another guy to the staff. den i was left to karen, moi officer in charge. she's the tour officer. sumtink lidat. alright, so i was assigned to uncle billy. he was supposed to guide mi along. everybody saes he's the most stable, best person to learn from. n he dun teach jux anybody. so, i tot i was lucky to be under good guidance. but, oh well, he dun seems tat willing to teach mi anything at all. he din show mi the very basic -- answering phone enquiries. alright, he did show mi some stuff. but mostly becux i asked den he answer. yeah, Q&A session. den it was lunch time. went wid xinyi n edwin. i dunno them. in fact, i noe nobody. onli moi jiejie n to moi surprise, moi jiefu oso in hongthai. haas. but dey work backstage. im at front counter. sumore, our family ties is to be kept confidential to minimise office politics. after lunch, went back to office stuck wid uncle billy again. he can talk until i nearly fall asleep lor. sigh. went off to ladies to wash up. cannot sleep!!

till 3pm, moi turn to be hall manager, oso time for uncle billy to knock off cux he gotta tour lead at night. the duty of a hall manager is merely to greet any walk-in customer n bring them to the relevant counter. supposed to be 3-4 onli. but, when i get casey to take over, (it was scheduled), she had to do filing. so, i was asked to help take over her till she's done. n tat made mi walk up n down the office for another hour. moi ankle was so hurt tat moi tears nearly dropped. jux went sinseh the day before. n its a lil' swollen which is kinda unusual for mi. cux even if i sprain moi ankle, it wont swell.

i was so bored, felt so out of place. im inexperienced tats y im here to learn. yet, i was left alone wid no guidance. luckily, at the last hour, weisian was assigned to guide mi along. she was so much better. at least, she showed mi stuff wid sequence. not like uncle billy, mess. so overall, i did learn sumtink today. though, it was reali minimum for 8hours.

i was thinking, am i reali into this job? am i reali going to make this moi career? moi dream is to travel ard the world, but is bringing tour any part in moi dream? i can easily find another 5day job outside, save the money n travel. this job is taking away moi freedom, totally. taking away moi life. on public holidays, im not allowed to take leave. not on festives too. 7days a week, i'll be scheduled 5 1/2days. but moi off day is not fixed. most prob haf to work on sundays. sundays, when dear dear had off. were talking abt going zoo, going sentosa over dinner jux now, dey can jolly well fix which sunday n go ahead. but not mi. haix.

im feeling reali stressed out. haf to hit sales quota everyday. i dunno the quota, but sales is a must for every working day. i hate sales. lest to sae, hit quota. the last thing i ever wan to do is to hit sales quota. I HATE IT!!!

should i stay on? or should i, like wad ppl are telling mi, see how the next few days go den decide? wad should i do??? y am i stuck in this kind of situation again? decisions, decisions, decisions!! forever making mi to make decisions!! decisions tat i have to think thru carefully or regret for life. why mi again?!!

went steamboat again ytd. yes, A-G-A-I-N. lolx~

its like the third time within this week. haas. even moi daddy suspect liao. mummy told mi daddy tot i bluff him. humph!! nvm, dun care him. i happy can liao. but i reali did go steam the boat can. last fri went wid shifu dey all, wed is shushu's bdae. ytd got 9 of us @ bugis.

talking abt ytd.. very funny day la. alright, as usual waited at shop for hour plus.. *shake head* forever wait n wait n wait.. owaes wait until i super sians de lor.. but ytd got news leh.. so hai hao. ah ong go book hotel room!!! "???" i oso not very clear wad happened.. but pris is totally very not happy lor.. den keep making announcement.. heard is 4big guys in a room, stil got extend room. aiyo, 4big guys in a room can do wad? unless... =x pris oso very funny la.. at steamboat dere when she heard xl dunno wan to ask ong to go cherrythai anot, her reaction, wha, 180^ change lor.. den she called ong.. dunno dey all la.. so complicated..

not like mi.. ytd so xinfu lor.. whahaha!! i was peeling the prawns.. den dear dear help mi scoop moi fav dang hun into moi bowl.. stil got two prawns leh.. den stil got soup leh.. he ask mi to eat firx.. but stil got alot to peel ma.. so i said, "u feed mi la".. who noes? he serious leh.. put the dang hun onto the spoon n feed mi!!!! in front of so many ppl la.. OMGOSH!!! SO SWEET CAN!! den dey very bad la.. tease moi dear dear.. make him feed them oso.. haha..

but after steamboat got prob liao lor.. tat 957.. erm erm.. dunno y, keep bio moi dear dear.. i sompa, i nv angry.. instead, mi n minmin keep laughing nonstop la.. dey play billard use number balls.. den dear dear pass mi his cards.. last card le, tat 957 take from mi.. at first i tot she wan to put on the table leh.. but she held on to it!! i was like "???"

got once, dear dear was trying to memorise which number to hit, den the 957 go so close to him to see the cards.. den need to collect money from the rest she go collect le den pass to mi.. aiyo, u cant imagine how mi n minmin was laughing like hell la.. the 957 is like our entertainment last night lor.. oops!! heehee..

i decided le.. i wan to hao hao love moi dear dear, canot be unfair to him cux he's reali very very good to mi.. he make mi feel so bliss can..

its been very long dun haf this kind of feeling le lor.. so i mux cherish!! minmin told mi he said never had anybody gave him this kind of feeling.. ^_^

bu guan san qi er shi yi, jue ding hao hao ai ni~

tat day, yk msg mi VERY EARLY in the morning.. 5plus in the morning. its a surprise i actualli heard moi fone ring. anyway, yepz, so msg wid him lor. surprise? haas. dunno y i bother to reply him oso. told moiself not to let him mess up moi life again. we tok abt lots of stuff. tok abt things we never said before. tat dumbo left one week to graduation, quit school le. haix. dunno wad to sae him. it wasnt easy for him to come so far, though he hadnt been doing well. but at least can fare bah. thinking back, it seems like i've been silently giving him support all these years. haas.
i wont deny tat i might still haf some feelings. but reali impossible le. i might still care but~ as a friend bah. purely friends. wont call him moi "ex", he's not moi present either. somebody special bah. somebody i truely loved.
as for the present one, wont call him moi "bf" either. dunno y, jux couldnt. to be honest, no special feelings. jux purely, hao gan. in fact, sometimes i feel so lost. dunno whether wad im doing is right anot. or izzit purely to numb moiself? im being unfair to him. but dun wan to lose him either. becux he reali dotes on mi alot? haix. another r/s wid hell lots of obstacles. headache. even more headache when im not even clear of moiself. arghhh!!!!!!
tat day go D&D, moi khakis heard got ppl come fetch mi kpo le la. den when i sae he's so much older den our age, penny ask whether im suffering from wad setbacks. haas. see, i guess tat's prob y im keeping moi mouth shut bah. jux couldnt bring moiself to tell ppl, "hey look, im attached. tat who n who is moi bf." i jux couldnt. even couldnt upload our photos to friendster. canot open, can onli underground. sigh.
noe wad, i noe ppl moi age sure sae the same thing. "wp, u can find a better one." oh well, tats wad penny been telling mi. tats wad moi sisters been telling mi.
toking abt them, supposed to meet them today. but i woke up late. den dun feel like going out le. dunno la, dun reali like to go jalan wid them oso. everytime see those girl girl stuff. den i owaes wait outside the shop. very sianz can. noe them 7yrs le. sae is sisters. but dunno y, not close wid them. yeah, moi sisters. but dey dunno everything abt mi. nopex. weird? haas.
alright, gotta go. other day den upload moi D&D pics. btw, i reali look like princess tat day can. simply love moi dressing tat day. ;P