i jux cudnt understand y e mention of moi involvement is owaes e root of our quarrels.. we share e same interest but y cant i be involved? he allowed his previous to go along for trainings for pfm, everywhere he goes.. y cant i? i dun get it.. i jux dun..

dun expect mi to know everything in ur mind.. i cant read ur mind.. its too complicated.. n i guess im too simple..

a simple asking mi out can reali brighten moi day even if we dun get to meet in the end.. im so easily contented.. wad else do u wan?

love is not about one giving in all the time.. i noe u gave in alot to mi too.. n u noe i love dragon.. given moi condition i noe i cant do vigorous exercises.. it will worsen.. but i onli follow.. y cant i even follow? moi whole family will be performing.. cant i go give em moi support? i was suppose to be in the pfm itself too..

before we patch, when u noe im going for chu shi wid moi grandsons u din sae anything.. i tot.. u changed.. u admitted ur selfishness.. u admitted u were too restrictive on mi.. dun u remember i was once so suffocated becux u tie mi too tight? n becux of tat i became rebellious?

u dun teach mi how to blog cux u noe i would be commenting alot abt us.. but since u dare to do it.. y dun u dare to admit? yes.. im pissed off.. im reali am.. i cant stand it anymore.. n im bursting out everything..

to be honest.. e period when we were separated.. e times when i was in sp.. was moi happiest time.. becux i had u i had moi dragon too.. we werent tgt.. but we had endless topic to go on n on.. i can freely express moi views on anything.. u will not scold.. e most we debate.. but i can go on n on.. i can go ahead wid moi trainings.. do anything i like.. u dun control mi.. i was most relaxed.. n tat was wad i owaes yearn for in us.. isnt tat how a r/s should be like?

i dun control u.. i let u do anything u wan.. u like.. so long u happy.. y cant u do e same? izzit becux u lacked e confidence in mi or in urself? when moi friends heard we patched.. to them, it's a piece of shocking news.. everybody was shocked.. n dey asked e same thing.. whether i stil haf feelings for u.. i wasnt sure until tat day.. when u asked mi out.. i realised.. yes.. i love u still.. e feelings may not be as strong as last time.. i may not be able to give 101% like in the past.. but e feelings are rekindling.. it is.. no matter wad others sae.. it doesnt matter.. it doesnt influence mi at all.. well.. dey sae i deserve somebody better.. but it doesnt matter to mi at all!! it doesnt!!

when ur friends heard u wanted a patch.. everybody was so excited n encouraged u.. dey sae e same thing too.. dey all feel tat its better for us to be tgt.. becux im a good gal? wadeva.. it doesnt matter to mi.. e thing that reali matters is ur thinking, ur feelings..

tat day when i c ur joy n ur tears.. i felt secured.. for once, i felt tat u r true.. i was assured.. den when u started to turn cold.. e insecurity came back.. i dunno wad happened.. i was scared.. so afraid tat history would happen.. so afraid tat u would tel mi u wan to break off, unexpectedly..

maybe tat was y.. im protecting moiself.. i cant imagine another similar blow from u.. i cant.. it took mi real long to walk out from the darkness.. at tat point of time, i even tot of commiting suicide.. u jux cant imagine how deep moi love was for u.. this time, i dun allow moiself to fall too deep.. im afraid tat when i fall deep, e same thing will happen.. but sometimes, i feel tat u r serious..

den again, i cant be sure.. izzit becux of regret u come back? to repay mi? when time is up, u will leave.. is tat so? no.. pls dun.. i reali dunno.. but i haf a feeling it isnt true.. u came back.. becux after one round u stil think im most suitable for u.. am i rite? i cant read ur mind.. i admit.. im blur most of the times.. n im slow.. but somehow i understand how u feel.. somehow nobody understands u like i do.. rite?

how i hope.. u can understand how i feel too..
all i wanted is jux a healthy n simple r/s.. one where we can share our laughters n sorrows.. one that we can hand in hand go thru all the wind n storms ahead.. one tat we can simply be ourselves..