things aint as smooth as it seems to be.
been quarrelling for the past few days for every single thing, be it misunderstanding or wadsoever, its owaes solve at the end of the day before we kiss goodbye. not today. im stil thinking whether to stay or leave moi current job. i dunno y, but i jux dun feel right at most times. loneliness, maybe. everybody has their khakis. im new. so not for mi. but becux im new, a senior mux be with mi at all times. as a result, moi "shifu" has to separate from her khakis to watch over mi. i felt bad. in fact, sometimes i felt so unwanted. extra, to be exact. colleagues are good to mi, willing to help mi whenever needed. they are friendly. but i jux cant help feeling tat way. dear dear keep telling mi not to force moiself, if i dun like it, jux quit n find another one. that's all he've been telling mi. i dun nid him to sae anything. jux need him to stay with mi. give mi a hug, comfort mi. let mi noe everything's gonna be alright.
unfortunately, he's upset that i confide to ck, a friend i nv see before -- a virtual friend. he's upset that i rather tell ck than tell him everything. sigh. he dun understand. he dun understand that i dun wan him to be frustrated over moi stuff. now, he saes i dun haf to tell him anything. wad else can i sae?
raining outside. wad a sudden rain. jux like moi heart. shattered rain.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
supposed to be sleeping alrdy, gotta wake up early tmr. haix.
firx day work wasnt good at all. not a bit. was told to report work at 8.50am, i was early. had brief orientation abt the key players in the company. REALLY BRIEF. dun ask mi who is who, i dun remember at all. anyway, after tat, HR went on to intro mi n another guy to the staff. den i was left to karen, moi officer in charge. she's the tour officer. sumtink lidat. alright, so i was assigned to uncle billy. he was supposed to guide mi along. everybody saes he's the most stable, best person to learn from. n he dun teach jux anybody. so, i tot i was lucky to be under good guidance. but, oh well, he dun seems tat willing to teach mi anything at all. he din show mi the very basic -- answering phone enquiries. alright, he did show mi some stuff. but mostly becux i asked den he answer. yeah, Q&A session. den it was lunch time. went wid xinyi n edwin. i dunno them. in fact, i noe nobody. onli moi jiejie n to moi surprise, moi jiefu oso in hongthai. haas. but dey work backstage. im at front counter. sumore, our family ties is to be kept confidential to minimise office politics. after lunch, went back to office stuck wid uncle billy again. he can talk until i nearly fall asleep lor. sigh. went off to ladies to wash up. cannot sleep!!
till 3pm, moi turn to be hall manager, oso time for uncle billy to knock off cux he gotta tour lead at night. the duty of a hall manager is merely to greet any walk-in customer n bring them to the relevant counter. supposed to be 3-4 onli. but, when i get casey to take over, (it was scheduled), she had to do filing. so, i was asked to help take over her till she's done. n tat made mi walk up n down the office for another hour. moi ankle was so hurt tat moi tears nearly dropped. jux went sinseh the day before. n its a lil' swollen which is kinda unusual for mi. cux even if i sprain moi ankle, it wont swell.
i was so bored, felt so out of place. im inexperienced tats y im here to learn. yet, i was left alone wid no guidance. luckily, at the last hour, weisian was assigned to guide mi along. she was so much better. at least, she showed mi stuff wid sequence. not like uncle billy, mess. so overall, i did learn sumtink today. though, it was reali minimum for 8hours.
i was thinking, am i reali into this job? am i reali going to make this moi career? moi dream is to travel ard the world, but is bringing tour any part in moi dream? i can easily find another 5day job outside, save the money n travel. this job is taking away moi freedom, totally. taking away moi life. on public holidays, im not allowed to take leave. not on festives too. 7days a week, i'll be scheduled 5 1/2days. but moi off day is not fixed. most prob haf to work on sundays. sundays, when dear dear had off. were talking abt going zoo, going sentosa over dinner jux now, dey can jolly well fix which sunday n go ahead. but not mi. haix.
im feeling reali stressed out. haf to hit sales quota everyday. i dunno the quota, but sales is a must for every working day. i hate sales. lest to sae, hit quota. the last thing i ever wan to do is to hit sales quota. I HATE IT!!!
should i stay on? or should i, like wad ppl are telling mi, see how the next few days go den decide? wad should i do??? y am i stuck in this kind of situation again? decisions, decisions, decisions!! forever making mi to make decisions!! decisions tat i have to think thru carefully or regret for life. why mi again?!!
firx day work wasnt good at all. not a bit. was told to report work at 8.50am, i was early. had brief orientation abt the key players in the company. REALLY BRIEF. dun ask mi who is who, i dun remember at all. anyway, after tat, HR went on to intro mi n another guy to the staff. den i was left to karen, moi officer in charge. she's the tour officer. sumtink lidat. alright, so i was assigned to uncle billy. he was supposed to guide mi along. everybody saes he's the most stable, best person to learn from. n he dun teach jux anybody. so, i tot i was lucky to be under good guidance. but, oh well, he dun seems tat willing to teach mi anything at all. he din show mi the very basic -- answering phone enquiries. alright, he did show mi some stuff. but mostly becux i asked den he answer. yeah, Q&A session. den it was lunch time. went wid xinyi n edwin. i dunno them. in fact, i noe nobody. onli moi jiejie n to moi surprise, moi jiefu oso in hongthai. haas. but dey work backstage. im at front counter. sumore, our family ties is to be kept confidential to minimise office politics. after lunch, went back to office stuck wid uncle billy again. he can talk until i nearly fall asleep lor. sigh. went off to ladies to wash up. cannot sleep!!
till 3pm, moi turn to be hall manager, oso time for uncle billy to knock off cux he gotta tour lead at night. the duty of a hall manager is merely to greet any walk-in customer n bring them to the relevant counter. supposed to be 3-4 onli. but, when i get casey to take over, (it was scheduled), she had to do filing. so, i was asked to help take over her till she's done. n tat made mi walk up n down the office for another hour. moi ankle was so hurt tat moi tears nearly dropped. jux went sinseh the day before. n its a lil' swollen which is kinda unusual for mi. cux even if i sprain moi ankle, it wont swell.
i was so bored, felt so out of place. im inexperienced tats y im here to learn. yet, i was left alone wid no guidance. luckily, at the last hour, weisian was assigned to guide mi along. she was so much better. at least, she showed mi stuff wid sequence. not like uncle billy, mess. so overall, i did learn sumtink today. though, it was reali minimum for 8hours.
i was thinking, am i reali into this job? am i reali going to make this moi career? moi dream is to travel ard the world, but is bringing tour any part in moi dream? i can easily find another 5day job outside, save the money n travel. this job is taking away moi freedom, totally. taking away moi life. on public holidays, im not allowed to take leave. not on festives too. 7days a week, i'll be scheduled 5 1/2days. but moi off day is not fixed. most prob haf to work on sundays. sundays, when dear dear had off. were talking abt going zoo, going sentosa over dinner jux now, dey can jolly well fix which sunday n go ahead. but not mi. haix.
im feeling reali stressed out. haf to hit sales quota everyday. i dunno the quota, but sales is a must for every working day. i hate sales. lest to sae, hit quota. the last thing i ever wan to do is to hit sales quota. I HATE IT!!!
should i stay on? or should i, like wad ppl are telling mi, see how the next few days go den decide? wad should i do??? y am i stuck in this kind of situation again? decisions, decisions, decisions!! forever making mi to make decisions!! decisions tat i have to think thru carefully or regret for life. why mi again?!!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
went steamboat again ytd. yes, A-G-A-I-N. lolx~
its like the third time within this week. haas. even moi daddy suspect liao. mummy told mi daddy tot i bluff him. humph!! nvm, dun care him. i happy can liao. but i reali did go steam the boat can. last fri went wid shifu dey all, wed is shushu's bdae. ytd got 9 of us @ bugis.
talking abt ytd.. very funny day la. alright, as usual waited at shop for hour plus.. *shake head* forever wait n wait n wait.. owaes wait until i super sians de lor.. but ytd got news leh.. so hai hao. ah ong go book hotel room!!! "???" i oso not very clear wad happened.. but pris is totally very not happy lor.. den keep making announcement.. heard is 4big guys in a room, stil got extend room. aiyo, 4big guys in a room can do wad? unless... =x pris oso very funny la.. at steamboat dere when she heard xl dunno wan to ask ong to go cherrythai anot, her reaction, wha, 180^ change lor.. den she called ong.. dunno dey all la.. so complicated..
not like mi.. ytd so xinfu lor.. whahaha!! i was peeling the prawns.. den dear dear help mi scoop moi fav dang hun into moi bowl.. stil got two prawns leh.. den stil got soup leh.. he ask mi to eat firx.. but stil got alot to peel ma.. so i said, "u feed mi la".. who noes? he serious leh.. put the dang hun onto the spoon n feed mi!!!! in front of so many ppl la.. OMGOSH!!! SO SWEET CAN!! den dey very bad la.. tease moi dear dear.. make him feed them oso.. haha..
but after steamboat got prob liao lor.. tat 957.. erm erm.. dunno y, keep bio moi dear dear.. i sompa, i nv angry.. instead, mi n minmin keep laughing nonstop la.. dey play billard use number balls.. den dear dear pass mi his cards.. last card le, tat 957 take from mi.. at first i tot she wan to put on the table leh.. but she held on to it!! i was like "???"
got once, dear dear was trying to memorise which number to hit, den the 957 go so close to him to see the cards.. den need to collect money from the rest she go collect le den pass to mi.. aiyo, u cant imagine how mi n minmin was laughing like hell la.. the 957 is like our entertainment last night lor.. oops!! heehee..
i decided le.. i wan to hao hao love moi dear dear, canot be unfair to him cux he's reali very very good to mi.. he make mi feel so bliss can..
its been very long dun haf this kind of feeling le lor.. so i mux cherish!! minmin told mi he said never had anybody gave him this kind of feeling.. ^_^
bu guan san qi er shi yi, jue ding hao hao ai ni~
its like the third time within this week. haas. even moi daddy suspect liao. mummy told mi daddy tot i bluff him. humph!! nvm, dun care him. i happy can liao. but i reali did go steam the boat can. last fri went wid shifu dey all, wed is shushu's bdae. ytd got 9 of us @ bugis.
talking abt ytd.. very funny day la. alright, as usual waited at shop for hour plus.. *shake head* forever wait n wait n wait.. owaes wait until i super sians de lor.. but ytd got news leh.. so hai hao. ah ong go book hotel room!!! "???" i oso not very clear wad happened.. but pris is totally very not happy lor.. den keep making announcement.. heard is 4big guys in a room, stil got extend room. aiyo, 4big guys in a room can do wad? unless... =x pris oso very funny la.. at steamboat dere when she heard xl dunno wan to ask ong to go cherrythai anot, her reaction, wha, 180^ change lor.. den she called ong.. dunno dey all la.. so complicated..
not like mi.. ytd so xinfu lor.. whahaha!! i was peeling the prawns.. den dear dear help mi scoop moi fav dang hun into moi bowl.. stil got two prawns leh.. den stil got soup leh.. he ask mi to eat firx.. but stil got alot to peel ma.. so i said, "u feed mi la".. who noes? he serious leh.. put the dang hun onto the spoon n feed mi!!!! in front of so many ppl la.. OMGOSH!!! SO SWEET CAN!! den dey very bad la.. tease moi dear dear.. make him feed them oso.. haha..
but after steamboat got prob liao lor.. tat 957.. erm erm.. dunno y, keep bio moi dear dear.. i sompa, i nv angry.. instead, mi n minmin keep laughing nonstop la.. dey play billard use number balls.. den dear dear pass mi his cards.. last card le, tat 957 take from mi.. at first i tot she wan to put on the table leh.. but she held on to it!! i was like "???"
got once, dear dear was trying to memorise which number to hit, den the 957 go so close to him to see the cards.. den need to collect money from the rest she go collect le den pass to mi.. aiyo, u cant imagine how mi n minmin was laughing like hell la.. the 957 is like our entertainment last night lor.. oops!! heehee..
i decided le.. i wan to hao hao love moi dear dear, canot be unfair to him cux he's reali very very good to mi.. he make mi feel so bliss can..
its been very long dun haf this kind of feeling le lor.. so i mux cherish!! minmin told mi he said never had anybody gave him this kind of feeling.. ^_^
bu guan san qi er shi yi, jue ding hao hao ai ni~
Saturday, March 10, 2007
tat day, yk msg mi VERY EARLY in the morning.. 5plus in the morning. its a surprise i actualli heard moi fone ring. anyway, yepz, so msg wid him lor. surprise? haas. dunno y i bother to reply him oso. told moiself not to let him mess up moi life again. we tok abt lots of stuff. tok abt things we never said before. tat dumbo left one week to graduation, quit school le. haix. dunno wad to sae him. it wasnt easy for him to come so far, though he hadnt been doing well. but at least can fare bah. thinking back, it seems like i've been silently giving him support all these years. haas.
i wont deny tat i might still haf some feelings. but reali impossible le. i might still care but~ as a friend bah. purely friends. wont call him moi "ex", he's not moi present either. somebody special bah. somebody i truely loved.
as for the present one, wont call him moi "bf" either. dunno y, jux couldnt. to be honest, no special feelings. jux purely, hao gan. in fact, sometimes i feel so lost. dunno whether wad im doing is right anot. or izzit purely to numb moiself? im being unfair to him. but dun wan to lose him either. becux he reali dotes on mi alot? haix. another r/s wid hell lots of obstacles. headache. even more headache when im not even clear of moiself. arghhh!!!!!!
tat day go D&D, moi khakis heard got ppl come fetch mi kpo le la. den when i sae he's so much older den our age, penny ask whether im suffering from wad setbacks. haas. see, i guess tat's prob y im keeping moi mouth shut bah. jux couldnt bring moiself to tell ppl, "hey look, im attached. tat who n who is moi bf." i jux couldnt. even couldnt upload our photos to friendster. canot open, can onli underground. sigh.
noe wad, i noe ppl moi age sure sae the same thing. "wp, u can find a better one." oh well, tats wad penny been telling mi. tats wad moi sisters been telling mi.
toking abt them, supposed to meet them today. but i woke up late. den dun feel like going out le. dunno la, dun reali like to go jalan wid them oso. everytime see those girl girl stuff. den i owaes wait outside the shop. very sianz can. noe them 7yrs le. sae is sisters. but dunno y, not close wid them. yeah, moi sisters. but dey dunno everything abt mi. nopex. weird? haas.
alright, gotta go. other day den upload moi D&D pics. btw, i reali look like princess tat day can. simply love moi dressing tat day. ;P
i wont deny tat i might still haf some feelings. but reali impossible le. i might still care but~ as a friend bah. purely friends. wont call him moi "ex", he's not moi present either. somebody special bah. somebody i truely loved.
as for the present one, wont call him moi "bf" either. dunno y, jux couldnt. to be honest, no special feelings. jux purely, hao gan. in fact, sometimes i feel so lost. dunno whether wad im doing is right anot. or izzit purely to numb moiself? im being unfair to him. but dun wan to lose him either. becux he reali dotes on mi alot? haix. another r/s wid hell lots of obstacles. headache. even more headache when im not even clear of moiself. arghhh!!!!!!
tat day go D&D, moi khakis heard got ppl come fetch mi kpo le la. den when i sae he's so much older den our age, penny ask whether im suffering from wad setbacks. haas. see, i guess tat's prob y im keeping moi mouth shut bah. jux couldnt bring moiself to tell ppl, "hey look, im attached. tat who n who is moi bf." i jux couldnt. even couldnt upload our photos to friendster. canot open, can onli underground. sigh.
noe wad, i noe ppl moi age sure sae the same thing. "wp, u can find a better one." oh well, tats wad penny been telling mi. tats wad moi sisters been telling mi.
toking abt them, supposed to meet them today. but i woke up late. den dun feel like going out le. dunno la, dun reali like to go jalan wid them oso. everytime see those girl girl stuff. den i owaes wait outside the shop. very sianz can. noe them 7yrs le. sae is sisters. but dunno y, not close wid them. yeah, moi sisters. but dey dunno everything abt mi. nopex. weird? haas.
alright, gotta go. other day den upload moi D&D pics. btw, i reali look like princess tat day can. simply love moi dressing tat day. ;P
Monday, March 05, 2007
tat day cz asked mi a very weird question, "wad happen to u n yk?" i was like, "huh?" we din even contact each other, wad could haf happened? she said yk asked if i got chu shi, oh well, jux haf a feeling tat sumtink's not right.. couldnt be anything good.. prob something bad abt mi again.. wadever.
ytd quarrel again. becux of tat superglue, AGAIN. actuali not reali quarrel, but piggie give mi face. =( cux he saw superglue disturb mi. is he disturb mi not i go near him leh!! den before tat minmin oso gif mi attitude becux somebody she dun like came.. 2 very close ppl attacked mi tgt.. i almost dropped tears!! felt so the wad la.. i understand minmin situation, i dun blame her.. cux if mi, i oso will bo hiu ppl de.. but still, feel so... haix..
went interview today.. jiejie personally interview mi.. make mi feel so awkward.. she speak angmoh to mi.. i so not used to it la.. she owaes speak to mi in chinese de.. die lor, think i flung the interview.. i oso dunno.. jiejie sae thursday let mi noe.. pray hard ba..
im feeling so bored now.. dunno wad i typing oso.. found the instructions on how to file the tax.. but piggie sae mux print a copy for reference.. ho seh lor, moi lappy no printer.. mux use didi's com.. sumore i saw the form online, so chim!! i dun understand!! tmr den file ba.. no hurry.. guess the filing prob take mi the whole day.. omgosh!! i wan to go shop for mi D&D stuff leh.. i nid to decorate moi shoes!! DIY!! howhowhow!!!
whole day on fone wid piggie. firx thing from him was scolding. cux i nv msg him when i wake up. haas. ppl worried i overslept nv go interview. lolx. dat time i told him, dun be so fierce when give mi morning call. den next day, he gentle gentle i not used to it tat i fall back to sleep!! lolx!! i miss piggie leh.. ytd got dream of him wor. think wednesday den can see him. steamboat session!! eat eat eat again!!
ytd quarrel again. becux of tat superglue, AGAIN. actuali not reali quarrel, but piggie give mi face. =( cux he saw superglue disturb mi. is he disturb mi not i go near him leh!! den before tat minmin oso gif mi attitude becux somebody she dun like came.. 2 very close ppl attacked mi tgt.. i almost dropped tears!! felt so the wad la.. i understand minmin situation, i dun blame her.. cux if mi, i oso will bo hiu ppl de.. but still, feel so... haix..
went interview today.. jiejie personally interview mi.. make mi feel so awkward.. she speak angmoh to mi.. i so not used to it la.. she owaes speak to mi in chinese de.. die lor, think i flung the interview.. i oso dunno.. jiejie sae thursday let mi noe.. pray hard ba..
im feeling so bored now.. dunno wad i typing oso.. found the instructions on how to file the tax.. but piggie sae mux print a copy for reference.. ho seh lor, moi lappy no printer.. mux use didi's com.. sumore i saw the form online, so chim!! i dun understand!! tmr den file ba.. no hurry.. guess the filing prob take mi the whole day.. omgosh!! i wan to go shop for mi D&D stuff leh.. i nid to decorate moi shoes!! DIY!! howhowhow!!!
whole day on fone wid piggie. firx thing from him was scolding. cux i nv msg him when i wake up. haas. ppl worried i overslept nv go interview. lolx. dat time i told him, dun be so fierce when give mi morning call. den next day, he gentle gentle i not used to it tat i fall back to sleep!! lolx!! i miss piggie leh.. ytd got dream of him wor. think wednesday den can see him. steamboat session!! eat eat eat again!!
Friday, March 02, 2007
whoohoo!! seems like decades since i last update.. hmm.. been busying wid dong dong cheng recently, had lotsa fun and a new "daughter"!! "???" whahaha.. aiya, the yuzhen la.. dunno y oso, like superglue lidat stick to mi liao.. everybody find her very irritating but i stil will play wid her.. haas.. even moi mum hates her to the core.. shifu see i bring her everywhere oso shocked.. i noe who is she la.. maybe fate ba.. or maybe becux.. oh well, kids are innocent..
jux submitted resume to hongthai, moi jiejie work dere leh.. for 10yrs liao wor.. hopefully can get in den heehee.. i can fly le!! i believe i can fly.. i believe i can touch the sky!! whahaha..
i am so so so happy recently la.. becux of... hmmm.. shant say anything.. TOP SECRET!! actuali got another reason oso, saw his blog.. ppl change add liao wor.. anyway, haha.. i haf moi ways.. saw the photos i dun feel hurt anymore le!! instead, i was blessing them wor!! i put down le.. reali put down le.. i did it!!! tat day, he very very wad la.. then i bth liao, i call his mum tell her the truth, seems like she was alrdy told.. den when she tok to mi like very paiseh lidat.. aiya, auntie, over liao.. mi n ur son you yuan wu fen, bo bian la..
but to him, i wan to sae this lor.. "dun keep ur mum in the dark, still the word, treasure. not onli ur baby, treasure ur loved ones, ur family. cux they are the ones who will not abandon u when crisis comes."
to minmin, i oso wan to sae the same thing lor..
"gal, u mux be strong. someday, somewhere, there will be a person who will not let ur tears drop again. u are the apple in everybody's eyes. keep ur smile, cux u never know who is falling in love with ur smile. u are still young, stay tall, look far. i'll be there for u!!"
to bx, i doubt he ever noes i got a blog, but anyway, feel sorry for the way i treat him ytd la.. suddenly hot suddenly cold.. i saw his eyes, i noe how he's feeling. haix.. i oso dunno how to sae la.. went out wid him two times.. two times oso go kbox.. tat kbox siao.. got once, i abit seh seh leh.. den lie down on his shoulder.. the feeling very nice leh.. very comfy.. BUT!! the next day, becux of him i quarrel wid somebody!! sigh.. tat somebody jealous la den whole day dun talk to mi!! humph!! stupid mr. pig!!
shit lor.. im missing tat piggie!! oh no.. last nite jux saw him leh.. omgosh!! im falling in love.. help!!
monday got job interview le!! wish mi success!!
jux submitted resume to hongthai, moi jiejie work dere leh.. for 10yrs liao wor.. hopefully can get in den heehee.. i can fly le!! i believe i can fly.. i believe i can touch the sky!! whahaha..
i am so so so happy recently la.. becux of... hmmm.. shant say anything.. TOP SECRET!! actuali got another reason oso, saw his blog.. ppl change add liao wor.. anyway, haha.. i haf moi ways.. saw the photos i dun feel hurt anymore le!! instead, i was blessing them wor!! i put down le.. reali put down le.. i did it!!! tat day, he very very wad la.. then i bth liao, i call his mum tell her the truth, seems like she was alrdy told.. den when she tok to mi like very paiseh lidat.. aiya, auntie, over liao.. mi n ur son you yuan wu fen, bo bian la..
but to him, i wan to sae this lor.. "dun keep ur mum in the dark, still the word, treasure. not onli ur baby, treasure ur loved ones, ur family. cux they are the ones who will not abandon u when crisis comes."
to minmin, i oso wan to sae the same thing lor..
"gal, u mux be strong. someday, somewhere, there will be a person who will not let ur tears drop again. u are the apple in everybody's eyes. keep ur smile, cux u never know who is falling in love with ur smile. u are still young, stay tall, look far. i'll be there for u!!"
to bx, i doubt he ever noes i got a blog, but anyway, feel sorry for the way i treat him ytd la.. suddenly hot suddenly cold.. i saw his eyes, i noe how he's feeling. haix.. i oso dunno how to sae la.. went out wid him two times.. two times oso go kbox.. tat kbox siao.. got once, i abit seh seh leh.. den lie down on his shoulder.. the feeling very nice leh.. very comfy.. BUT!! the next day, becux of him i quarrel wid somebody!! sigh.. tat somebody jealous la den whole day dun talk to mi!! humph!! stupid mr. pig!!
shit lor.. im missing tat piggie!! oh no.. last nite jux saw him leh.. omgosh!! im falling in love.. help!!
monday got job interview le!! wish mi success!!
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