A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil,without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, It releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; They just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

i reali couldnt stand the smell coming from the dishes n guess wad i did? i actuali packed those yucky dishes into the trash bag!! whahahaha!! well, dey did chu yi den i do shi wu la.. lalala.. it was until midnight when gaby came home n dey needed dishes for wadeva crap dey r eating.. den dey realise the dishes r missing!! lolx!! i was alrdy in moi room wid wl.. eavesdropping their reaction.. dey keep laughing.. asking WHY.. n jackie even sae she OWAES clean the house!! OMG!! she cleaned?!!! more like dirty bah.. oh well, ONCE IN A WHILE she tidies the house A LITTLE.. den for the rest of the month she leaves her things everywhere in the house..
oh ya.. u wont believe this.. its a speechless war in the house.. she was singing la!! den so AWFUL lor.. i almost couldnt finish moi noodles.. bth.. i go switch on the tv.. purposely turn up the volume.. i dun care de lor.. even if im not watching.. i rather listen to the tv den to her singing la.. anyway, she had her ear plugs on rite? who cares.. oh den, she sings louder la!! OMG!! but i think she finali realise she couldnt beat the tv.. she stop singing le!! YES!! VICTORY!! heeheehaha..

ytd i went shopping in moi 3/4 n pretty little slippers
everything was going well until the time to go home
waited outside for the bus
for about 15min or so
with the strong wind blowing straight at moi face
n the temperature at 3degrees
3DEGREES CELSIUS!!!

shivering shivering shivering
until the bus came
moi whole body was numbed
i had no strength at all to walk a step further
i dragged moi feet n finally boarded the bus
moi head was cold n heavy
i felt like vomitting
long before i knew
it was time to alight
i tot i felt better
nope
stil the heavy n numb body
feels like dragging heavy chains behind mi
moi teeth was cluttering
hailed a cab
cab driver wont let mi in
until he called back HQ to let em noe he's chaffeuring somebody instead
i almost died in the frozen air
as soon as i reach home
the first thing was to jump into bed
n wrapped moiself in moi blanket
den i realise moi blanket wasnt warm at all
at tat split second
somebody appeared in moi mind
haas

oh buddha,
pls grant mi some warmth

ok.. so i told moi darling aisyah im going to stop talking abt somebody.. n i shall jux do tat.. cux i think got new prediction le.. lolx.. moi prediction usualli quite accurate de..
hmm.. im so bored!!!! did ppt this whole afternoon den went to cast connection din see anything i like.. or maybe i did.. the blankets or is that beach towel? wadever la.. its bery cute la.. but the tot of moi luggage makes mi give up the idea.. den jio yiwen go premium but she busying wid her project.. haiz.. nobody accompany mi leh.. den take ez bus back to little treehouse again..
ate a pie n ice cream for dinner.. haha.. din haf moi lunch leh.. today so healthy sia.. lolx.. den met shizhe online leh.. oh gosh.. i miss him sia!! cant believe he's going to take over the company le.. great potential!! all the way to go, moi dear!! oopss.. dun mistaken.. he's going to get married soon le.. haha.. n he's like a big brother to mi.. reali a very good brother.. n i cherish our friendship alot alot.. he taught mi alot things.. to look at things in a different perspective.. blah blah blah.. he helped to open up moi tots.. but unfortunately... hmm.. ...
shit la.. i sit too long on the sofa now moi waist is aching again.. i hate it la.. it hurts alot alot!! damn.. wanted to do bud's assignments de leh.. stil got 8more to submit by first week of December leh.. omg!! going to faint le.. den again, school's going to end soon!!!
next wk no class cux thanksgiving wk.. everybody is like working for hell lotsa hours la.. im scheduled for 53hours leh!! onli one pathetic day off.. ='(
die die mux cherish tat day off la.. but den work more den earn more den can save more n can spend more... whahahaha... i wan to go shopping leh.. n i wan to go nyc shop lor.. NEW YORK CITY hor!! not florida hor!! but nobody wan to go with mi leh.. all scared freeze to death.. lolx!! i dun care ar.. die die mux find somebody to go with mi.. lalala..
ok la.. lappy very hot liao.. nid to give moi dear little lappy some rest.. it have been working too hard today le.. haha.. nid to rest moi back oso.. tata..

im beginning to realise this little bloggie seems to be getting public le.. dunno how so many ppl gotta noe abt moi bloggie too.. no more privacy.. n the worse thing.. ppl read but dey dun tag.. so i dun even noe who read moi posts.. omg.. feel kinda stalked.. anyway.. peeps, if u r reading.. pls leave a tag before u leave so i noe who's been here, alright? thnx alot..

so, the first mickey's very-merry xmas party started ytd.. the christmas carols made everybody feels like going home.. dere was one sentence, "there's no place like home in holiday season".. n it reali makes mi wan to go home.. i tot abt it.. ppl do miss mi bah.. jux tat overseas msg, calls, wadever forms of contact seems a little ex.. plus daddy mummy been busy bah.. tats part of the reason y i haven been contacting em, isnt it? cux didi having o-levels, dun wish to disturb him.. sigh.. hope dey r doing fine bah.. hope dey reali did miss mi, at least once in a while bah..

abt the visa extension thingy, the chances are i would haf to go home as scheduled bah.. nvm.. i got moi plans.. when i go back, i wan to get moi driving licence.. wan to perfect moi japanese too.. if possible, moi cantonese too.. get a job n earn lotsa money.. in one yr's time, tat will be 2008, i will go tokyo disneyland to work.. probably for a yr or so.. den i'll go hongkong disneyland.. den probably paris too.. in between, i will tour around.. i wan to go venice.. its a romantic place i owaes dream of going.. moi dream vacation place.. or shall i put it as honeymoon destination? haas.. wadever.. but chances are i wont be attached.. less to sae married.. so probably going alone? or grab some close friends along bah.. moi final disney destination will of cux be back to florida.. i will come back one day.. n probably for good?

n the above will be moi future plans.. i'll stop thinking abt him, abt home.. it kinda distract mi n reali brings moi mood to the lowest..

will onli miss em in moi heart, in moi dreams..

daddy mummy going china soon
this sunday dragon com
is daddy the dragon head again?
mummy in the judge panel?
wl was playing tat song
make moi tears dropped again
toking wid minmin
moi parents very fine
too busy wid trainings
dey gg china, jiangxi in two weeks
sigh
too busy to even tok to mi le
ytd go work
like dead log
made alot mistakes
think jeanette angry mi le
she's moi trainer
haiz
not feeling rite
i nid a hug
tat hug
arghhhhh
go work le
may everything be smooth today
bless mi

back from work
tired legs
been working 50hours this week
calculated will be $300plus pay
yeah
hardwork pays
i wan to save up to 3000/4000usd to go home leh
bonnie came look for mi today
moi manager
she brought another person to tel mi more abt the visa extension thingy
unfortunately
it wasnt good news
i said i wanted to try character auditions
manager took note of tat
going to ask the int'l recruitment manager
who happens to be manager for character recruitment in the past
hmm
might haf a chance to do wad i always wanted
shall wait n see

had a ridiculous tot today
daddy mummy gg china soon
was thinking of applying off n give em a surprise dere
den think back again
heard yk say their schedule very packed
tat means dey wont be able to entertain mi at all
sigh
i miss em so much
how abt them coming to visit mi b4 gg back to sg?
the impossible of the impossible
im starting to count down le
2more months to moi home sweet home
but..
if im allowed to extend moi visa
i might not go home as planned le
i miss everything in sg so much
wonder if dey miss mi as much too
no msg, email...
no contact at all
have i been forgotten?
perhaps, i should just stay here for good
sigh

i have a dream
a very beautiful dream
when i go back home
i wan a party
a very big party at moi home sweet home
onli moi family come n fetch mi from airport
everybody else waiting for mi at home
moi sp kids, wlcs, 4/6 buddies, lovely sisters
yepz, everyone waiting to give mi a big surprise
a whole table of singapore food
laksa, char kuey, nasi lemak, hokkien mee, popiah, blah blah blah
n he's dere to welcome mi back home too
haas..
the fairy godmother saes
"trust ur heart
n ur dream will come true"
moi friend, shizhe said
"follow ur heart"
moi heart, once slashed n tortured n hurt
can it be mend?
will there be such a day it become wholesome again?
will moi dream come true?
follow ur heart

early morning went to send off moi hongkong friends
so many ppl leaving today
the brazilians, the british, the hongkongers
leaving mi n wl the onli chinese in treehouse again
sigh
saw candy's tears
i was emo too
till the time for us to pack n go
nobody to send us off
how sad
sigh

went to stock up moi supplies
guess wad
cookies, cookies and cookies
breakfast, lunch, dinner
all cookies
lolx

i miss home

knowing something is definitely not right, i keep saying im fine.. n he thinks i am fine.. cux i sae so.. haas.. well, wadeva happened to mi no longer concern him anymore anyway.. we r jux friends.. or a little more than that.. a special fren i wont call him a fren.. at least to mi, tats wad its going to be.. hate him? too tiring to hate somebody bah..
was making cotton candy today when i suddenly had this tot in mind.. if i have a wish right now.. i wished to spend christmas wid moi family n him.. haas.. col mi silly bah.. i stil wish to hold his hand n walk to the future.. stupid girl.. yepz, i know.. it takes time bah.. y do u think i dun wan to go home when i miss home so much?
to be honest, tat incident reali din affect mi alot.. i dunno y either.. but the scenes at tat particular place keeps flashing back.. i could even rmb the time the incident took place.. n the agony n everything.. everything still fresh in moi mind.. fresh.. like it happened ytd.. sigh.. if ever i hated him was onli that day when i saw a sign in the breakroom and realise wad happened could have been prevented bah.. sigh.. but wad's done had been done.. no point sighing le..
alright lets tok abt today bah.. its a magical day today..
early morning was the usual morning wave.. but we had two today.. becux its a special day.. its walt's 30th year anniversary today.. n walt is an old colleague at moi workplace.. he actualli started working at MK since it opened.. but the firx five yrs was part time.. so not counted.. but 30yrs leh!! omg!! tats looooong lor... alright, so we had pixie dust n everybody crowding ard him n singing him the MK cheer.. in the streets leh!! whahaha.. he so cute la.. still hugging a doggie la.. den big manager present him the trophy n we took pictures at main street.. very super nice lor..
den when we went back to confectionary.. another surprise.. the kettle is back!!! oh man!! its been missing since the day i started moi kitchen training.. omg!! guess wad.. becux the kettle is back.. we actualli produced 311 caramel apples within an hour!! no wonder helen so excited abt the kettle.. she was practically dancing la.. lolx!!
oh den today MK got cast celebration la.. den got free food, games, ice cream, DJ.. n merchandise at 75% off!! i bought so many things all add up to $23 onli lor.. though not alot to buy la.. but i did manage to dig something out of nutink.. heeheehaahaa!!!
den later got the very-merry christmas cast preview for MK cast onli lor!! heh heh.. MK very happening hor.. heehee..
thinking of christmas.. i miss the times when moi family would gather at kranji camp for bbq nite leh.. used to col wlcs for gatherings oso lor.. was so much fun den.. tat day i heard christmas carol moi tears almost drop leh.. i miss home too much le bah.. oh yea, i do..
its the 9th of the month again.. haiz..

was reading minmin's blog.. the one abt her daddy.. den reminds mi of moi daddy.. moi tears dropped.. been abt a month since i last contact em.. i miss em.. give mi a hug.. will somebody?? ytd was daddy's bdae.. i send him a bdae msg.. no reply.. y no reply? becux daddy dunno how to text msg? or nv receive moi msg?? daddy, i send u a bade card with moi photo.. did u receive?? daddy, i miss u alot.. do u hear mi??
cant imagine i actualli wanted to extend moi program here till spring.. when i heard corrie saying tat we can extend.. i was so excited and all ready for it.. i wanted to go for the character audition.. but tat is onli possible if moi program is until spring.. den i went cast portal and it saes.. J1 visa are not eligible.. haiz.. if i can extend.. i will onli be back home next yr one day b4 moi bdae.. wad about new yr? oh well.. new yr is chu shi for mi lor.. every yr oso same since dunno how many yrs old.. now dunno where to go liao.. originally from wlcs.. den some things happen, was not allowed to go.. end up now everybody upgrade liao i still standing on the same step.. den join sp.. but when i go back i graduate liao.. sp now oso kinda separated liao.. wj is not mine troupe.. even though im rather close wid em.. haiz.. if dun go chu shi tats not moi new yr.. not how i spend moi new yr..
in fact, last yr was the firx time i reali spend new yr like how it should be.. firx time wor.. can u imagine?? firx tme in eighteen yrs.. lols..
now, onli hoping disney can extend moi visa.. or issue mi another visa so that i can extend moi program here.. as much as i miss home.. i dun wan to go home.. haix... i oso dunno la..
but i seems to realise sth.. he asked mi if i tag his blog as beancurd.. hmm.. it keeps mi wondering if his previous posts were all about mi.. he miss mi?? was the gal who make him feel so lost, mi? haas.. dun think so bah.. but i was indeed surprise tat he actualli noe beancurd was one of moi fav.. some yrs back, he even noe tat moi fav flower is lilies.. n he bought mi lilies for valentine.. its still in moi wardrobe lor.. mama sae alrdy die liao still keep for wad.. keep asking mi to throw away.. no way.. tats moi very firx received flower leh.. sumore the very firx vdae i ever spend with moi love.. stil got the little crystal apple i been searching for so long.. thinking back he was so sweet then.. sigh..
missing the moments..
missing moi daddy n mummy n moi beloved didi..
all the best for ur 'o'-levels, bro!! jia you!!

shit la!! alrdy not enuff slp stil nid to write journal.. n is not one entry onli lor.. its 7 entries lor.. stil mux differentiate btw self n observation n action plan how wad leadership competency will impact ur future.. heck la.. panda liao lor..
imagine cux workplace not giving mi enuff hours to earn enuff money.. oh well.. i onli got 50bucks to spend for the rest of the days until i credit in moi next paycheck.. 50BUCKS!!! ok la.. den no money liao go work extra hours.. now dun haf time to do homework la.. good lor.. wth.. i wan to complain liao la.. I AM SO TIRED NOW!!!
eyes half open go work.. come back canot slp cux nid to rush homework.. no dinner no lunch.. very pathetic lor.. everyday onli cereal is moi proper breakfast.. but tat little pack of cereal makes mi more hungry la.. cux nv eat dinner de ma.. i got rice n spaghetti n macoroni to cook de leh.. but hor.. tat stupid american cook liao nv wash pots.. now i no pots to cook lor.. dun even haf a spoon to eat cereal in the morning.. bth la.. arghhhhhhh...
n i think im gg to fall sick soon le.. very soon.. cux i can feel it le lor.. alrdy got slight flu liao.. den everyday not enuff slp i eat chocolates to keep mi awake.. den no water.. sooner or later.. fever going to come liao.. been having headaches lately alrdy.. dey r symptoms lor.. wadeva la.. sick oso nid to go work.. no work no money leh.. no money no food.. not like singapore lor.. no work stil got daddy mummy to cook for mi.. here, i mux depend on moislf lor.. n i dun wan to go c doctor here lor.. its way too expensive.. n i haf absolutely no idea where is the clinic la..
speaking of doctor.. i think i reali die liao la.. wait.. im supposed to keep mum.. haiz..
today went work.. first time speak so much mandarin lor... workplace got one taiwan auntie.. she got car leh.. den she say find one day bring mi around!! yes!! then come home i tel wl the good news, who knows she even better.. met somebody from malaysia.. even exchange numbers.. oh wait.. to be exact, is email.. cux she forget moi number.. so forgetful la.. den tat m'sian she met sae here got indonesian restaurant got sell nasi lemak, laksa, blah blah blah.. LAKSA!!! but now i dun feel like eating laksa.. i wan to eat tau huey.. moi fav tau huey.. sobx sobx..

lonely, outcasted.. depression.. wadeva u col it.. that's how im feeling rite now..
mr.monkey saes to intro guys canot let a cute gal go to waste.. gosh.. wth.. i haf moi plans..
-driving licence
-clear moi debt ($10,000 to godmama & $12,000 to cpf for sch fees)
-bring moi family to disney
-save moi first $1000,000 in bank account by 26yrs old
deres alot more i wan to do.. but i noe starting a family is no longer in moi list le.. did i disppoint u? haas..
onc e bitten twice shy.. a lesson learnt, an unforgiven mistake..

guess im getting used to the life here.. except for the unpredictable weather which can be freezing sometimes.. except for the bread n cookies (the onli food tat i survive on).. except that there is no sinseh here.. everything else is good i guess.. i might extend moi stay if permitted.. or maybe not.. cux i think i sprain moi ankle.. it hurts each time i walk.. n moi kneecap hurts alot too.. nid to go back to see sinseh.. sigh..

read his blog.. he seems to be missing someone badly.. wonders who's tat gal whom made him so lost.. nv seen him so not himself before.. yet keeps telling mi he's fine.. i guess tats wad everybody does bah.. it happened to mi before too.. everybody ard mi noes tt im not ok but i keep insisted im well n fine.. haas.. hope he will overcome the low tide soon.. bless him..

ms wang send an email over telling us tat the sch n uncg are into discussion to lighten our workload.. bud miles will be meeting us tmr.. hopefully dey will reali do something abt it.. imagine us taking 4modules and working average 35-40hrs a week. even corrie (our dear instructor) saes its crazy..

poor us suffering here n stupid conrad badmouthing us back in singapore.. how evil is he.. to think he's coming in late nov.. all of us alrdy planning not to let him meet us at all le.. whahaha..

ytd wl ask mi how long have u not called back home? i paused a while n think, it seems like two weeks i haben meet moi family for online date, have i? den again, i did jux send a bdae card n photo back home, shd reach in time to wish daddy happy bdae..

alright, gotta get back to moi books le.. miss mi..