things aint as smooth as it seems to be.

been quarrelling for the past few days for every single thing, be it misunderstanding or wadsoever, its owaes solve at the end of the day before we kiss goodbye. not today. im stil thinking whether to stay or leave moi current job. i dunno y, but i jux dun feel right at most times. loneliness, maybe. everybody has their khakis. im new. so not for mi. but becux im new, a senior mux be with mi at all times. as a result, moi "shifu" has to separate from her khakis to watch over mi. i felt bad. in fact, sometimes i felt so unwanted. extra, to be exact. colleagues are good to mi, willing to help mi whenever needed. they are friendly. but i jux cant help feeling tat way. dear dear keep telling mi not to force moiself, if i dun like it, jux quit n find another one. that's all he've been telling mi. i dun nid him to sae anything. jux need him to stay with mi. give mi a hug, comfort mi. let mi noe everything's gonna be alright.

unfortunately, he's upset that i confide to ck, a friend i nv see before -- a virtual friend. he's upset that i rather tell ck than tell him everything. sigh. he dun understand. he dun understand that i dun wan him to be frustrated over moi stuff. now, he saes i dun haf to tell him anything. wad else can i sae?

raining outside. wad a sudden rain. jux like moi heart. shattered rain.