treehouse having more problems than ever after.. but dere's reali nutink much i can do other den to endure.. dere r so many of their ppl here.. i cannot anyhow.. haix.. the dishes in the basin have been dere for the 5th day le.. it simply doesnt bother em at all.. one of them even brought a guy back to slp.. everything happening in the house doesnt seems to bother vani at all.. if anything should happen, i guess onli mi n weiling to fend for ourselves.. others keep telling mi to have a good talk with vani, cux we from same class in singapore.. but she keep giving mi attitude.. i reali cant take it le.. was talking abt it with weiling ytd.. talk until i wan to cry le.. i like vista.. 20 of us came but 17 of them staying in vista.. i can feel the warmth n liveliness when im dere.. dats was i call home.. problems problems problems.. haix..

saw a photo in his frendster.. haix.. i think i noe wads going on le.. i gotta carry on wid moi life.. all da best to mi bah..

sooner or later im going to burst out le! moi little treehouse come two new roommates, one from mexico one from coasta rica.. n dey r REALI wild party animals.. since the day they come, dey have been partying everynight.. oh man! but dats their own business.. the thing that i reali cant stand them is their untidiness!! can u imagine.. dey literally leave their plates and cups and all the cutleries in the sink unwashed!! n for two days!!! omgomg!! dey can actuali stand it?! i cant n so i washed up the dirty dishes n DEN i leave em a written warning asking em to wash their dishes after each use. it works. sadly, for ONE DAY ONLI!! e next day, dey took away the paper n started again!! i mean, oh please.. u din bring ur maid along!! if u dun wan to wash, den u go buy the disposable ones!! shit em!!

haix.. the tot of em makes mi reali.. dunnno wad to say oso.. i might one day.. reali explode lor.. weiling oso bth em.. dey ate our food without asking lor.. imagine the two of us actuali packed our food n store it in our wardrobe.. 5BAGS leh!! can u imagine how terrible are dey?

im off today lor.. tmr oso off.. die le lor.. dunno wanna go where.. dun wan to stay home n face them lor.. canot stand them leh..

shall not talk abt them le.. dey r so irritating..

alright, let mi update moi stay..
ytd was the first halloween party night n i was scheduled to work until 2am.. guess wad?? mi n weiling finished work almost the same time so we met n went home tgt.. but den.. we waited at west clock (the place to board the treehouse bus) for almost an hour n stil dere was no bus in sight!! sumtink's wrong!! so we went up to the security n he called the bus company but the bus driver cudnt be reached!! n according to the security, the bus coompany tot everybody in the treehouse haf been picked up!! n so dey stop the bus operations le.. omg!! den how r we going to get home?!!

luckily, the bus driver to vista way was kind enough.. he checked the directions with the security n took us home.. whew!! but we reached home like 3.30am!! oh gosh!! so EARLY? lucky im off today can slp late.. but im off tmr too!! wad am going to do?? the others had their offdays on weekdays.. haiyo.. y lidat?? im owaes alone during the weekends.. in singapore oso lidat.. y come here oso lidat??

ppl so envy i got weekends off.. but i dun wan weekends off.. i checked the extra hours shift.. got available shifts in adventure land at the pirates bazzaar leh.. but den, i scared la.. cux i dunno anybody dere.. n the meeting place.. gosh!! where the hell is that?!! end up nv sign up for the extra hours.. if not, tmr can go work dun nid stay home n face the irritating bunch..

heard from moi bro he called leh!! heeheehaha.. but he called moi singapore no.. e one i left it at home cux canot be used here.. but stil, im so excited le lor!! though didi nv answer the col.. dunno y he col oso.. but afterall, he called!! heehee.. i think i crazy le.. i even heard him talking to mi in moi dreams the other day.. haas.. guess i miss him too much bah..

dreamt of him the other nite
was a sweet dream
haas
read his post
he's asking the same question ive been asking silently
e screen u r seeing
is not all moi feelings
dere r hidden feelings kept deep inside moi heart
becux of the previous lesson
i learnt to be careful with moi words

i guessed somehow
we do care alot for each other
den again
we keep unhappiness to ourselves
too cautious of how each other will feel?
i was once told
to let out all moi feelings
cux he has the right to noe if im not feeling good abt anything he does
communication
our obstacle

i watched fireworks practically every night
n it owaes reminds mi of him
how great if he's beside mi
to witness the spectacular scene tgt
e last day we reali tok
was national day

tat nite
i tot of watching fireworks wid him
but we din

tat nite
in the train
he was stil happily talking abt the dresscode for his wedding
haas

tat nite
e last nite i hear him col mi baobei

jux received last sem results
disappointing
thinking back wad happened in between during den
sigh

alright, here r some updates..
went for work on monday at confectionary.. tat was moi firx day working on moi own ooh.. it was bored!! i dun like to work in confectionary.. not onli the uniform is so troublesome.. e worse is when im assigned to work in confectionary, i can onli be dere!! for the whole day!! shit.. this wk is onli 6hrs.. next wk i gotta stay 10hrs in dat little candy shop!! omgomg!!
den e next few days is at main street east.. yeah!! when assigned to main street, dere r so many shops i can go to.. good!! not much thing la.. except!! tat day i ran into an indian man from india.. n he talked to mi abt cruise, n he noes KL!! u noe la.. when u r overseas, n somebody finali noes abt ur area, u tend to be excited.. or at least i am la.. den he started to say abt massage.. n den free sex!! oh damn! n he keeps coming closer n closer to mi!! shit him!! i keep moving back until i no space to move le lor.. i tried to distract him but to no avail.. n worse is im e onli one in the shop!! oh man!! den later when i go serve other guests, he walk around the shop like he's who n who lor.. wth!! den finali he left, n he stil wave byebye to mi lor!! oh gosh!! n noe wad?? less than 10mins he's back!! he sae the city hall ppl (city hall in magic kingdom is the information stop) haven found his camera yet.. im like ok, u can go to the expo hall opp the street to purchase one.. tats his initial purpose when he step into the shop.. i neber bother abt him la.. trying moi best to keep a distance from him.. finali he sae wan to go take monorail n i showed him the way n shoo!! off u go!! n FINALLY he left!! whew!! wad a close shave!!
den last nite went to watch the halloween parade rehearsal after work.. it was AWESOME!! neber celebrated halloween before.. din know it's so happening.. the audience were all cheering and clapping for the performers.. e night is dark lor.. n the whole magic kingdom is onli the cast members.. yeah, the rehearsal was for cast members onli.. oh ya!! noe wad.. when i was doing stocking in one of the shops, the people was like running down the street screaming lor.. n the first thing tat came into moi mind was.. hungry ghost festival!! lolx!! but dey reali look like one lor.. imagine, the street was quiet cux all the guests have left n the night was dark.. den suddenly so many ppl gushing down the streets like neber before.. omg! den after the parade of cux is head home la.. alrdy midnight liao leh.. den omg!! e firx time eva the bus to treehouse is FULL!!! omgomg!! i never knew there are so many occupiers in treehouse!! usually, there's onli max 5ppl in the bus!! whahaha.. n the brazillians are so happening lor.. i think dey drank a little ba.. dey were like singing n cheering in the bus.. firx time eva the bus so lively lor.. poor bus driver.. dunno he should be happy or irritated.. haha..
ok la.. dats abt it.. will update again.. n here's moi address..
P.O. Box 22782
Apartment #405
Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830

got time write to mi bah.. having headaches liao.. hmm.. yups, not feeling well lately.. but should be fine.. dun worrie.. =)

yeah!! finali managed to talk to moi mummy over the internet!! i dreamt of singapore again ytd!! oh man!! been dreaming of singapore almost everyday!!
went to Epcot ytd.. was quite small compared to Magic Kingdom.. but there got different countries inside leh!! n they got china oso!! i almost went crazy when i saw the menu in the restaurants lor!! dey got dim sum, got chicken rice, got sweet n sour soup, ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! moi singapore food!!! i miss em lots!!! moi laksa, cha kueh, n lotsa lotsa more!!!
oh! i made a new fren!! she's called helen.. from hongkong!! n she's inviting us over to her hostel for chinese food!! omg!! moi stomach is grumbling le!! never knew chinese food can make mi so crazy!!
n he reply mi!! whahahahaha!!!! im so happy now!! i bery sad the past few days lor.. jux now ask mummy abt him i almost cried leh.. lucky i managed to hold back moi tears.. hee.. learning to be strong eh? n mummy told mi moi godmother bery happy to receive moi bdae msg leh!! but she dunno how to sms, so neber reply.. haha..
n so many ppl send their regards to mi!! even moi san gu zhang.. somebody not bery close to mi.. lolx!!
i forgot to bring moi mailing address along today.. nvm.. next time when i come online den i update again alright? miss mi ooh!! muackss!!

dunno wad day izzit today is singapore.. kinda lost track of time back dere.. cux its 12hrs difference.. heard from jl wlcs soot.. n the score was pretty low.. oh well, like wad i predicted bah.. dey not going to get it this time.. cux its not like in the past anymore.. sometimes, when its time to let go, u haf to let go..
was trying to upload pics.. but the com in the com lab dun haf "My Computer".. wth.. to think i actuali wanted to save the trouble of bring moi laptop over n saved everything in moi thumbdrive.. nvm.. maybe try using moi fren's lappy later..
hmm.. moi little treehouse ish going to have new people coming in tmr.. dunno one or two.. doesnt reali matter anyway.. jux hope will not be like the pampered missy we alrdy haf at home.. oh, i think she ate moi instant noodles!! never ask mi!! n she practically finshing all the milk!! imagine i bought e big bottle n she alone finish like 3/4 of it!! omg!!
e other time she oso ate hell lotsa moi lemon puff biscuits!! think i gotta keep moi stuff away from her sight le.. if not, im going to be broke soon..
shit her!
haix.. im so bored now.. i wan to load pictures!! tmr i oso off.. cant go on lidat leh.. though its good to haf rest days la.. but den i work so few hours no money leh!! n i work night shift.. so im practically rotting at home before i get moi feet to work.. omg!!
noe wad? i keep dreaming of singapore these few nights.. i think im reali homesick.. i miss home!! was browsing thru moi pictures ytd.. n listening to moi playlists.. n moi tears jux drop.. gosh!!
i dun understand y ppl jux dun reply to moi msg.. i tried with moi mum.. it works when i added +65 in front.. but y dun ppl reply to moi msg? jux one simple msg so that i noe dey receive it will do.. but no.. not a single one.. even if it takes 50cents for one overseas msg.. one month 50cent alot meh? haix.. dey jux dun understand how it feels when one is overseas n the ppl she misses so much dun contact her bah..
reality is cruel..

alright its thursday today n im off.. having a virtual date with moi family again.. haha.. hmm.. mummy sent mi the results for the taka comp.. so wlcs got into final.. all da best ya..
i msg bb.. but he din reply.. haix..
received moi schedule for next wk le.. practically can come online everyday after 9 cux im working night shift..n moi latest shift ends at 2am.. -_-"
haiz.. not in the mood to type anything now.. will update again.. tat's all folks..

had moi very first on-the-job training today in confectionery where I sell candies n pastries.. oh well, moi uniform is cute.. the little gal in yellow dress with puffy sleeves n her little chef hat.. tats mi!! lolx.. its kinda happening in the morning though.. supposed to report work at 9.30am, n I woke at 7.30am flustering over.. thinking tat the frequency of the bus is an hour for one.. den I checked n realized dumb dumb.. its 20min frequency.. so, im not late!! Haha.. n I was pretty early.. well, I wanted to go early to find moi locker too.. n so I did n waited almost half an hour for moi trainer.. moi trainer appears to be an old grandmother.. her name is jean fulton.. n the first thing I noe abt her is that her granddaughter has been missing since last sat night.. gosh! N she simply cudnt concentrate at all.. well well, if its mi, I wudnt be able to concentrate too.. its been 3days since she last saw her granddaughter n she’s onli 16! The worst is florida is sooo big!! Ok den, she told Melissa abt it, I think she’s the manager? Oh, she’s pretty!! Lolx.. back to topic, so I got another trainer, n her name is Nicole.. she’s pretty good, at least I was able to figure out wad she’s trying to sae.. but kinda slack though.. she’s like hmm.. I dunno how to describe but its like she’s been talking the same old thing over n over again tat she’s getting sick n tired of it.. haas.. I felt bored too..
until after moi lunch break, I got to hands-on den I was reali active.. I was at the pastry area, where I get ppl the pastries dey wan n pack em in the box.. heehee.. I was having fun!! Den its time for the second break.. yepz, each break is 30mins.. n if I work more than 6hrs, I get 2 breaks.. one of the break will be paid!! Oh yeah!! Oh, moi first break was oh god.. I wanted to try the fried chicken rice from the vending machine.. den I din haf small change, went into the shop, the tender sae I gotta get sumtink if I wan change, damn! Nvm, so I ended up getting the herb chicken n veg rice instead.. n yeah, it needs to be heated in the oven too.. stupid.. ok, the taste wasn’t tat bad.. but too much msg.. n I realized.. American food is either too sweety or too salty.. dey dun haf jux nice de lor.. aiyo.. eat until I so xinku lor.. keep gulping down water..
den after moi second break I went back to the confectionery again.. it was abt 3.15pm n the parade jux started!! Nicole allowed mi to watch the parade leh!! Whahaha.. so I was like standing by the entrance for dunno how long before I get started on the cash register.. I was pretty good at it, I mux sae.. probably becux I was once a cashier ba.. haha.. so experience do help ah.. heehee..
ok den, it was time to knock off!! Whoohoo!! I cant wait to get home!!
Weiling was at home the whole day wor.. she rented the vacuum from the front desk n onli vacuumed our room n the hall.. she was afraid to go basement leh.. cux vani lah! Sae she saw slimy creature den now weiling scared liao la! Luckily I was brave enuff, so we went to the basement tgt n started voom voom.. haha.. den we headed to Downtown Disney for dinner..
Oh man!! There are soooo many beautiful things over there!!! I spotted lots n lots of souvenirs tat im having headache now!! Wad am I supposed to get for all of u?! omg!!

gosh! Its alrdy almost 12am here n im having training early in the morning tmr.. omg omg!!! Jux tried on moi full costume.. hmm.. I look kinda fat in it.. cux its puffy.. but cute la.. lolx.. chatted wid moi family this morning.. bro activated web cam n I saw mummy’s eyes wetting., she mux haf missed mi too much.. mummy, dun wori k.. im really doing fine here.. n I’ll be back home in a blink of an eye.. get urslf busy, time will pass real fast de..
oh n moi lovely bro told mi dey talked abt moi bb ytd.. sae he like woodblock. Haha.. I jux love moi silly woodblock.. n im missing him so.. jux now went premium outlet wid xiaoshi n peifen.. bought 4 T-shirts.. oh no.. spent a little too much today.. ok, den we went to Wal-Mart.. again.. lolx.. this time to go buy moi working shoes n dey need to get some food stuff..
den the two of them boarded their bus back to vista way.. n I sat alone out dere waiting for moi bus to treehouse.. I began to miss moi darling.. n I miss home.. moi eyes were wet when I tot of being separated from moi beloved ones so far apart.. e tot of starting work tmr in a totally different environment where the Caucasians stick with themselves make mi reali feel like an alien (tats wad we filled in when we applied for the visa, the Americans practically call the Asians alien)
if im in Singapore, I could owaes confide in moi diary, moi mum, moi darling.. but now, I dun even noe whether moi darling is still dere for mi simply makes moi heart sink even more.. n moi eyes even more wet..
he said ok when I asked to keep in contact.. but tat haven been the case.. I miss him, badly.. he’s probably kinda busy ba.. pc show, taka, school projects.. he hadn’t even haf the time to sleep, I guess..
hopefully, when he’s less busy, he would msg mi.. darling, I miss u so..
last nite, I dreamt I was alrdy back home wor.. daddy was surprised to find mi home when he got home from work.. den I said, happy den come home lor.. haas.. wth.. den gotta catch the day’s flight back to Orlando.. -_-“.. when I woke up to find moiself in the treehouse den I realized, it was a dream afterall.. last nite weiling asked mi whether I missed home.. I said not reali.. but deep inside, I think I do.. im so close wid moi family afterall..
n I cooked pork porridge today.. mum taught mi how ytd when I dated her to go online.. haha.. oh, n the taste was reali great.. cant believe I can actuali cook.. n the best thing is it taste exactly how moi mum owaes cook.. got the smell of the home.. omg.. im missing home more..
this is the 19th week.. after this week, I got 18more weeks to go n I’ll be able to return home!!
Work hard, gal!!

hey ya ppl!!! hows everybody doing?? hmm.. moi little treehouse stil not able to access internet yet.. luckily got com lab n its right beside moi apartment onli.. heehee.. in singapore, im like everyday online lor.. now mux endure!!! its now thursday, 7.26pm here.. guess its alrdy 7plus morning over in singapore bah.. u guys mux be busy getting ready for school n work bah..
let mi update a little.. hmm.. we r practically busy shopping every single day.. its EVERYDAY lor.. oh, n i bought a GAP jumper for onli USD14.99!!!! cheap rite??? heehee..
jux now went to take a glimpse of the Magic Kingdom.. tats where im going to work too.. its big lor.. n i heard its the busiest park!! yippee!! busy good!! den moi time can pass faster.. haha..
oh ya!!! something BIG happen jux now lor!! one of our classmates went MISSING!!! we were all supposed to attend the Traditions class today at 8am.. until e end of the class was alrdy like 4pm.. gosh.. i keep dozing off lor.. can u imagine mi n weiling actuali counted our plates n bowls n all the kitchen appliances at abt 12am!! crazy rite.. haas..
oh back to singyi (the gal who went missing), after class we faster try to contact her lor.. cux she's reali nowhere in sight.. den tat ms wang still insist in taking photo wid the cinderella castle.. omg!!! ppl missing leh!!!! wth.. k lah.. canot blame her.. she had no idea tat singyi was not seen since ytd afternoon.. but den.. not to wori.. cux we finali found her.. she was late n she attended the later class.. whew!! she got everybody so anxious.. tats y i sae.. it would be good to get an int'l card like us.. we bought the T-mobile.. though kinda ex.. USD53.25 lor.. but den, we can keep in touch wid each other.. tats e thing la.. in a foreign land, u nid to haf some ways to contact ur own ppl ma.. but since everybody is safe n sound bery good le..
work going start next week.. n i c moi schedule im like working abt 10hrs each day wor.. omg!!! but oso good la.. work more den less time to anyhow think..
tat half-way hanging r/s oso dunno stil have anot.. a test of time? 140days to determine if we r made for each other? now, i oso getting more n more blur le.. but thinking back the last hug he gave mi, its still a relief bah..
but i c moi classmates, one by one, bf got col or msg em de leh!! i so envy lor.. haix.. dey can so proudly acknowledge their bf.. i dun even noe if he's stil mine.. sad lor..
haix.. dun think liao la.. im in the world's happiest place!! im supposed to be happy everyday!!!
tats abt it la.. dun wan sae liao.. go upload moi pix.. buais..

yesh!! finali can go online le!!
alright jux some updates..
im now alrdy in orlando for the second day, so its actuali tues afternoon right here now n its damn HOT!!! the sun ish reali making moi eyes close!! hmm.. im staying in a treehouse!! haha.. ok la, not bad lor.. got tv, washing machine, dryer n i even got moi own toilet in moi room. heehee.. im staying wid a friend called weiling. n another frend, vanitha, she's staying in another room. yeah, so the 2-storey apartment onli have e three of us.. lolx! but den again, its kinda inconvenient cux we'r staying in a protected wetland n i cudnt even access to internet!! arghhhh!! now using moi fren de com at vista way.. dey r all staying here, n the distance btw us is like soooo far, gotta take abt 20min bus lor.. haix. i took alot pix leh.. but no internet cant even send over.. gosh!! i cant wait to show u ppl moi beautiful photos!!
went to wal-mart ytd... n its REALLY big i must say.. its like at least 10times of Gaint!! Oh!! how can i forget this?!! alright, orlando is like m'sia!! u noe dey oso haf those electrical lines hanging above n its like far far apart den got buildings.. basically a bigger version of m'sia la. haha!! n over here its like going back to 70's lidat.. the cars all bery vintage lor.. lols!!
hmm.. im doing fine here k.. dun wori ppl. haven start work yet.. think next week ba.. alright, gtg. keep mi updated of wads going on in singapore!! i miss u ppl!!
bb, i miss u too.

e last post before i leave for disney
2hours more
n i'll be heading for the airport

honestly, i dun like parting sessions
cux i will CRY!!!
im a super emo person lor
but i'll try moi best to hold back moi tears

had a gathering wid moi sistas
i mux sae we r reali sistas
had been long since i met up wid em
but we r stil so close
n dey reali help mi lots
wid moi luggage and everything
i love em!!!!

he came
we din tok much
but im reali glad tat he turned up finali
e warmth in the hug
reali melts moi heart

im so happy today
though i cant bear to leave
but im reali contented le

*to all moi beloved friends*

ALL of u mux take good care of urslf alright
i will be away for a while
but im gonna miss u ppl like hell!!
so u r going to miss mi too!
haha
we'll keep in touch thru emails, MSN, wadeva k
n most imptly
DUN FORGET MI!!
i'll be back

bless mi ^-^

was reali pissed n disappointed
his words made moi heart boil for the whole nite
tat i almost cudnt breathe
moi heart is weak
canot be agigated

e bomb in mi
he finali litted n let it explode

surprisingly
after today's farewell dinner wid moi kids
i dun seems to be angry wid him anymore

*to moi kids*
thanx alot for the dinner
it was a simple n a little frightening though
pls do not arrange functions for granny at boxing place
i am timid as u all saw
anyway
pls take good care of urslf
i will take good care of moiself too
dun worrie
when nainai is away
pls do not misbehave
cux i'll be back
n i'll start yakking
haas
last of all
jux wanna sae
i love all of u

*to him*
i wanted reali much to scold u
yet everytime i c u i jux cudnt bring moiself to
i wanted to wake u up
jux as much as i wan to hug u tite

i saw couples locking their hands
n the ring on them
i wished we cud be like em

i noe tats not ur heartfelt words
but i reali haf no idea wad to do anymore

im leaving
u pls take good care
u noe i will worrie

e person i loved n hated e most
i stil love u so

pls do not take mi for granted
i am not a toy

problems in r/s are like hurdles
once u've jumped over it
without knowing
u'd haf overcome it

had a talk wid shizhe
was glad i had a fren like him
he made mi look at our problem from another perspective

he took 4yrs to learn how to treasure his gf
e routine life made him feel tired
finali he came to realise
it's the same for every r/s tat it becomes a routine
he once faced the problems we r facing now
n now dey r on their way to the next phase of life
all da best, moi fren

e 140days will be a test for us
a test to determine wad we reali wan

it will be hard
but we would have to endure
if we can overcome
everything will be fine

19, we r not too young, neither r we too old
there's still a long way to go

e buyer n e seller
while e buyer is waiting to be sold
e seller is still trying to get the best deal
there r cracks on the item
thus the seller needs time to consider

nobody is perfect
when u do something
think
esp towards ur loved ones
tell em how u reali feel
dun hide
dun think that u r a burden
for u'll then be owaes holding back

be true to urself
follow ur heart
for e heart nv lies

a mistake made, a lesson learnt
im sorrie i cant be perfect

was glad he finali replied
was relieved we finali could talk in peace

it takes two hands to clap
tats all i can sae

reali hope to c him before i leave
even for 5min it will be fine

i dun wan moi tears to drop
he hates to c mi in tears
i mux be STRONG!!!

all da best, gal

i tot over
i guessed i do mean something to him
if not he would not been so pissed off
rite?

somehow mummy seems to have seen him as her prospective son-in-law
somehow it goes the same for his parents

well, it all depends on us

let the period im going away be a cool-down period ba
like wad mum said
give him time
he's probably struggling too

if when i return n e feeling is still dere
den we will be tgt
if not, let it go

if i meant something to him
he will come n find me

i noe im a total disappoinment
tat he probably will never forgive mi

i dun wan to lose him
haix

call mi silly
i jux love him

i'll be waiting

these words
"pissed. i'll never forgive you. you disappointed me."
moi eyes wet again

im losing everybody

moi heart is bleeding

hubby, where r u?

finali plucked up moi courage to msg him
stil no reply

y? hubby, y?
y wont u reply mi?

its alrdy the 5th day u haven been contacting mi
e 11th day since we last had a nice talk

i've arranged all moi gatherings
e last nite in singapore is left specially for u

pls come meet mi alright?
i miss u lots

e saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder"
how true

if u asking mi wad i reali wan
i dunno
i onli noe i feel so lost without u
i dun wan to lose u
reali cant afford to lose u again

im sorry, hubby
pls come back

didi went out for movies again
daddy mummy went chu shi
left mi n the big big house alone

today, the 4th day he din contact mi le
the 10th day we haven had a good talk

got this from the drama jux now

gal: "when a guy doesnt keep in touch with u,
its either he's angry or he has given up hope"

guy: "im not angry, im merely at a loss"

gal: "do i still have a chance?"

guy: "i'll inform u when i've come to a decision"

n they never got tgt in the end

is that wads happening to us?
he's not angry
he was disappointed
utter disappointment

i was in the wrong
have nobody to blame

the big stone in moi heart
been with mi since 2months ago
been struggling to keep moi mouth shut
terrible feeling
im sinking in

i dunno wad to say
moi tears drop again
as i was reminded of the past

i wasnt convincing enuff
to make u trust
i was so useless
tat i cudnt even keep wad belonged to us

hubby, im leaving
would u pls come back soon?

when the clock strikes 12 tonight

it would be 11th day of the war
5th day u haven been contacting mi
7days left to disney

i miss u, darling

oops im blogging again
grandpa go hospital again
or shall i say chalet?
e last time he stayed dere for almost a month
this time, dunno gg to stay how long
i dun empathise him
i pity moi mum
c her so tired taking care of him
yet he dun even listen
how can so disobedient?!!
haix

afternoon saw bb online
tried to tok to him
yet he never reply

the clock strikes 12
another 24hrs no msg, no col, no contact

last wk this day
he said to come n find mi after school
but becux of tat msg
we havent meet since

i dun wan to carry on like this
reali dun wan
but im so scared
tat one day he will msg mi
n say full stop

i dun wan to hear tat!!

jux now the AIA lady came
she was late!!
for almost an hour!!!
made us wait for her like wad
luckily i told her to come moi house
if not i would be birdding somewhere

e policy she describes
i understand
but her translation not very good
honestly i dun reali trust her
charge mi $480 for tat few papers!!
damn!!

i trust auntie more
but im worried the china company auntie intro is not reliable
n im gg america
mama sae buy america den
actuali mama oso trust auntie more
n auntie offered $370
which is $110 less!!!

haix
nvm la
alrdy pay liao
america is jux so troublesome

watch jean yip slimming prog jux now
e bf proposed to the gal leh
their story seems so alike to our story
but dey finali getting married le
congrats

as for mi?
no idea
dun even noe where is he now

he once said if he cudnt be bothered
he wudnt haf msg mi
now reali stop msging mi le
wad does tat mean?

a hint for mi?

arghhhhhhhhh!!!

damn!! moi left wrist hurts
lucky not right wrist
tmr stil got exam leh

cz msg ask to chu shi on sat
sae need alot ppl
should i go?
i stil got exam on monday
haven even touch
tats not moi primary concern actuali

rather, wad can i do even if i chu shi?
dragonball?
oh pls, spare mi
i had a reali bad experience the other time
nv eva in wlcs am i gg to lead the dragon again
phobia

n if i go chu shi
i surely will c bb
how wil i react?
how wil he react?

haix
bb, i miss u.

9 days left
9th day of the war

the no. 9 again
the date of our anniversary
the proposed date for our rom

will our story continue?

oh heaven, oh jesus, oh buddha
pls let our story continue
foreva n eva
never ending
happily eva after

i reali learnt
i shd haf tok to him instead
tell him i was tired
but never eva sae take a break

im praying everyday for his return
bless mi

one more down, three more to go
e firx time eva in moi life
i reali cudnt concentrate at all
he keep flashing in moi mind
haix
jux hope to get a C at least for SM

ytd, 24hours, no msg, no missed col
no contact at all
not even a gdnite msg anymore
this morning, woke up in fright
e firx thing tat came to moi mind
him
i checked moi fone
nutink

went home wid aisyah jux now
she said she read moi blog
from her friends link
haas
lidat oso can
somehow the world is jux so small
everybody's friends seems to noe each other somehow

she said
dun think he dun wan u
he's prob giving u the space u wanted
wan to let u concentrate
since u said to take a break

den i realise
moi 'take a break' meant to rest a while
but he seems to take it as 'break'
so, i was misunderstooded all this while
and the more i try to explain
the more it means 'break'
wth

perhaps
this might be good for us
giving each other some space to breathe
since we r both so busy right now

aisyah said
i acted prob becux i haf too many things in mind
hormones not stabilise yet
maybe ba

too many things happen
tat incident + exams + im flying off
tat incident alone is enuff to drain mi out
i guess u too

if onli u can think like her
u would have understand mi better
somehow gals n gals understand each other better
dey say, great minds think alike
i say, the same gender think alike
isnt that so?

gals owaes complain guys dun understand em
gals dun seems to understand the guys too

the 8th day of the war
10days left...